I got my first feel-up in 7th grade. There was a boy at my church who I'd been crushing on for awhile, along with the 2 or 3 boys I was crushing on at school. I started having crushes when I was about 5 and until 4 years ago, I have always had them. This boy was what I would call an "80% Crush", which means I really liked him and wanted to be near him 80% of the time. The other times he was either a dork or a jerk. He didn't talk to me much so I was very quiet around him. This was my "MO" around crushes, steal a glance here and there and never speak to them. One day I went on a day trip to Magic Mountain with the entire youth group. I steered clear of him most of the day but by the end of the day we had managed to be "lost" together. I don't t think I planned it, it just sort of worked out that way. We walked around and played the games and then rode home on the bus sitting next to each other.
When we got back to church he grabbed me by the hand and took me up the dark stairway to one of the classrooms. He didn't turn the light on. He sat down and pulled me onto his lap and stuck his hand roughly up my shirt and felt around. I didn't feel much, I was just sort of freaked out.
'Wasn't he supposed to kiss me when he did this?' I thought.
'Is it wrong to have your boobs felt up before you first real kiss?' I also thought.
At one point he said,
"You're big" (that part always makes me laugh)
I wasn't sure how to feel about that...
Before I knew it we left the room and went home with our respective rides. We didn't really talk to each other again. I avoided him completely at church and was very grateful he didn't go to my school.
I tried to forget about the incident as quickly as possible.
About a week later two of my school crushes walked up to me at nutrition break. I was very nervous because I never spoke to those boys, I just hung out at the same table as they did. One of them had been my #1 crush since 4th grade so my stomach started flipping when spoke to me.
He was my only "100% crush"!
He said, "Hey, we are in the same football league as that guy you go to church with. We heard all about you."
He smiled, "In a church???"
They walked away laughing.
My cheeks flushed and my stomachache intensified.
'Was this a good thing or a bad thing when boys knew that sort of thing about you in 7th grade?'
2 comments:
Isn't it so sad to know that the boys probably didn't have a clue if it was good or bad, either? Growing up is shite. I am so grateful I don't give a damn what boys think, anymore.
I'm so glad you're back.
I really, really missed your blogs.
Isn't it sad that boys don't have a clue if it's good or bad period?!!
Post a Comment